


And The Greatest of These is Love

by Steamed_Rose



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-26 04:25:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3836998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steamed_Rose/pseuds/Steamed_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate is recovering from her suicide attempt in the hospital and comes back to Blackwell. She's still not quite stable, but looks to Max to comfort her. She sees Max as her guardian angel and close friend, but is there something more to it? Marshfield. First fanfic. Set after episode 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction. Comments and suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!  
> I don’t own Dontnod Entertainment or Life is Strange. It would be hella cool if I did, but nah. I’m just a huge fan.

Every morning I’m woken up by the rays from the sunrise. Today is the last day at the hospital and I’m grateful for it. It’s been a rough few days recovering from what would have easily been my first and last suicide attempt. What lead to it? A video. I don’t even recall the events that had happened in the video. I watched it and couldn't believe it was me. Kissing strangers. I was a slut. Sure, I wasn't having sex. But you don’t have to have sex in public to be a slut. I wasn't myself and no one believed me. I just wanted to have a good time and was curious to see what the Vortex Club was about. But what was supposed to have been a good night ended up being a nightmare. A nightmare I could not wake from until Max, my personal guardian angel, woke me up. 

Speaking of Max, she has been visiting me every day. Leaving me gifts, balloons, my favorite chocolates, and taking care of my rabbit. Max claims I’m a good mom, but I feel pretty bad about leaving my rabbit, Samuel, alone. She also brings me notes and homework for the days I’ve missed in class. Max never writes notes. She usually does doodles. But for me she actually wrote down what was said and done in class. It’s really sweet of her. My father has visited me. He was so worried. I felt awful worrying him so much. He knows about the video, but claims to have never seen it. I’m not entirely sure I believe him, but I’m glad he checked up on me. My mom hasn't spoken to me since the incident. I’m sure she’s upset. I’m not sure if it’s because my image is tainted or if she’s just angry out of worry. Dad told me my sisters have been busy and wanted to come, but couldn’t. I think it’s for the best that they didn’t come. It feels awful to be so weak in front of those that look up to you. 

At the hospital I’ve been talking to a psychiatrist, Dr. Johnson. Two days after my attempt I was told to talk to him by my doctor. I was hesitant. I never talked to a psychiatrist and I don’t want to be judged more. I don’t want to be mentally evaluated when it’s obvious that I’m still broken down. I don’t want to be told what to do to make things seem better without actually fixing anything. At least that’s what I felt. Dr. Johnson was actually very understanding and kind. He knows about the situation. He said he hasn’t seen the video since it was taken down. I’m so glad. The video being taken down is a giant step to getting back to normal. Assuming I could be normal again. 

I told Dr. Johnson about all the small incidents that lead up to my mental breakdown. I don’t like calling it a mental breakdown. All the incidents that lead up to my…. Bigger incident? Anyway, I told him about the bullying. How Victoria and her friends would call me a “whore”, “slut”, and how that I would “want to hook up with anyone that would let me”. How they would have thrown paper balls at me with taunts. How even Nathan said that I should comeback for an “even better” time with the Vortex Club. I feel gross. And terrified. I don’t know if my life can ever go back to normal. I told all of this to Dr. Johnson. He said that it’s hard to be accepted in school. I told him about how religious I was. He assumed that my clothing was usually modest which probably made me a target for the Vortex Club. He’s probably right. 

So after discussing the situation he told me to accept what had happened. If I accept it then I should be able to move on. Supposedly. That’s going to be a challenge. He also suggested that to socialize and improve my self-esteem I should spend more time with Alyssa, Stella, Warren, and Max. Max. Dr. Johnson asked me about Max. A lot. It actually made me uncomfortable, so I asked him why he was so curious about her. He said that I always smile when I hear her name and an even bigger smile when I talk about her. I told him that she saved my life. How she was always on my side during the whole ordeal. That she believed every word I said about what had happened. I gave him details on how she saved my life. At the time I was too emotional and she was able to guide me back to safety. Thinking back it was weird that she knew my favorite Bible verse, _Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest_ , Matthew 11:28. I guess by some miracle she just knew what to say. And it was the perfect verse for what was happening. I was weary and unstable and I relied on Max to help me. I will admit that no matter how I recover my relationship with her will not be the same.

Today’s visit with Dr. Johnson is the last one. I walk to the couch in front of him. “Good afternoon Ms. Marsh” he said politely as he’s done every day. “Today I would like to follow up on you getting better and what steps you can take to get there.” I hold onto one of the pillows nearby. He can tell I’m nervous. “Don’t worry Ms. Marsh. I promise it will get better. Now let’s go over what I said yesterday. Ah, right.” He says while looking at notes. “You need to spend time with friends. I know it might be hard since you probably don’t want them to see you in this state. But I promise it’s for the best.” He continued. “I also want you to especially spend more time with Max. She’s a positive influence for you. No matter how bad things get I’m sure you can always look to Max to help you.” He shuffles through more notes “ I also want you to keep a journal and write out your feelings. It doesn’t have to be public at all. Just something to let it all out.” He looks at me for a minute like he was going to suggest something I don’t like. “I also have to make you choose, Ms. Marsh. I can either write you a prescription for anti-depressants and see me twice a month or you can come see me twice a week. I can’t let you go without either option. I don’t want to risk having something bad happening to you.” He paused. “I promise that either option you choose I will try to make it short as possible, but first your wellbeing is the top priority.”

I stay quiet and look away. I’m not sure what I want to do. Personally, I think his suggestions and prayer would be plenty. _Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up,_ Luke 18:1. I do feel somewhat comfortable with Dr. Johnson. I look back at him. “I will just see you twice a week, sir.” I replied. He nods and writes something down. “Okay Ms. Marsh. This concludes our last session while you’re in the hospital. I will have you discharged and you can schedule for our next appointment at the front desk.” He stands up. I stand up quickly and a bit shaky from my legs falling asleep. He opens the door and lets me walk out first. As much as I enjoy freedom I am scared of Blackwell. How people will treat me after the incident. How my professors view me since I went from quiet and studious to what I will assume will be the talk of the school. How could it not be what the school is talking about? I probably seemed crazy up there. I will just pray a little extra when I get home and try to let Jesus handle it. I definitely want to see Max when I get there. I just want to give her a hug and feel safe in that embrace. Even if it’s just for a moment. 

I sent Max a text telling her that I was coming back today. I haven’t sent a message or anything to anyone else. I don’t feeling like seeing anyone, but Max. I’m scared of where I left off Alyssa and Stella. As for Warren. I feel that it’s going to be okay with him. His actions seem to be based off of how Max acts anyway. And Max and I are doing well. I walk off of the bus with my belongings. My hair is down since I haven’t had the energy or desire to put it up. I probably look off to everyone. Or maybe no one will notice me. I’d be grateful if Victoria or Nathan don’t notice me. I get a reply from Max. “I just cleaned out Samuel’s cage and I’ll be in your room waiting. Don’t worry. I didn’t have anything important today. : )”. After reading the reply I bump into someone. I look up. It’s Dana. “Hey Kate.” She says. “that’s a huge smile you got on your face. Did something good happen at the hospital?!” she seems happy for me. “I’m just glad to be back at Blackwell.” I lied. I’m not happy about being back here, but I’m not sure how else to write off my smile. I didn’t even realize I was smiling. “That’s great. Well I have to be somewhere, but hey, let’s catch up sometime? Bye.” She says while walking off. I continue to the dorms. Surprisingly, there’s no one in the front. No one hanging out.

I open the front door and go inside. It’s quiet and empty here as well. I walk to my room. On the whiteboard it says, “We love you!”. That definitely made me smile. Today has been well so far. I open the door slowly. On the bed I see her smile and that face. I missed her face so much. “Hey Kate!” she says happily. “Hi Max. Thank you for everything. I’m not sure where I’ll be without my super hero.” I said as she stood up to give me a hug. “It’s not a big deal, Kate. I’m just a everyday super hero. Anyway, how are you feeling?” she asks. “I actually feel well.” I said. “I ran into Dana and she seemed good. I actually haven’t seen anyone else.” I said as I looked at my hands on my lap. “No worries, Kate. It can just be us today. Plus we still have to have some tea together. Maybe some movies or something.” She looks at me. She’s wearing her white tank top with the doe on it and a light gray jacket. I look at her face. I love how her freckles bridge over her nose making her blue eyes seem to pop out. I also like looking at the shape of her lips… her lips? I must tired. 

“I think we should just watch a movie. I’m pretty exhausted.” I reply. “Alright. Let me get something for you to just relax.” Max says as she gets up to leave to her room. I lay across the bed. I don’t feel well. At all. Maybe I should just skip the movie with Max. Maybe some sleep will be nice. But I’m also afraid. Afraid of someone coming in and yelling at me. Calling me a whore or resurrecting the video. Something. Even with a locked door the doors here are pretty easy to open if someone really wants to break in. Maybe I should ask Max to stay. I don’t want to bother her. I’ve already burdened her. I look around the room. It’s clean. Samuel’s cage is fresh. Everything is nicely put in its place. Like I never left. Max did a great job maintaining this place. I couldn’t ask her for more. Could I? I shouldn’t. 

Max walks in with a USB in her hand and her laptop. “Hey, Max?” I say meekly. “What’s up Kate?” she asks. “I don’t think I’m in the mood for a movie. I just want to lay down. Just lay down and think or sleep. I don’t know. I just don’t feel well. I don’t want to do anything except just be on my bed. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Max. I’m sorry. I don’t know.” I said as I panicked. I wasn’t sure where I was going with this conversation. I just want to lay down and feel safe. She looks at me worried. Please don’t worry, Max. “Kate. Are you okay? It’s fine if you don’t want to watch a movie. It was lame choice anyway. You seem nervous. Want me to stay? We can talk about it or we can just relax.” She says worriedly. “Maybe…. Maybe you should stay. In case something happens. Or something.” I looked away. I feel the bed slowly decompressing from her weight. I sense her next to me as I face the wall. “Don’t worry, Kate. It will get better. You matter to a lot of people. Me, Stella, Alyssa, your dad, sisters, your mom, and so on. We all just want you to be taken care of and be happy.” I hear her say. 

I turn to look at her. Her eyes on mine. I can feel my heart racing. Probably from the anxiety of this entire situation. I continue to look into her blue eyes. Then to her freckles on her nose then down to her soft, pink, and gentle lips…. Lips? Again? If I keep staring she’s probably going to think I’m weird or gay for her or something. I look back to her eyes. She smiles. She stretches out one arm on the bed. “Come here, Kate. I don’t bite. Not hard anyway.” She laughs. “I’m kidding. Just come here and get some snuggles.” She says. I-I think I’m blushing? I probably have a fever or something. I didn't think I was sick. Why am I so warm all of a sudden? I feel her arms around me. “You are shaking.” Max says. “I didn't like how nervous you looked either. Just relax. It’s going to be okay. It’s perfectly fine to just lay in bed. I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere.” I start crying while wrapped in the warmth of her arms. I am scared of Blackwell. Scared of the Vortex Club. Scared of my friends and family. Scared of the memories of being on the roof that rainy day. Scared of everything. Except Max. She’s my only enduring comfort. My guardian angel that God sent.

_I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me_ Psalm 120:1 

_For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline._ 2 Timothy 1:7


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s a shorter chapter, but hope you guys enjoy.

I had fallen asleep in Max’s arms last night. I was crying until I was too tired to cry anymore. Max was always there holding me close and kept comforting me by telling me that everything is going to be okay. I want to believe her. I truly do. I look at the wall and see the sun shining an orange glow on my wall. I move to stretch, but Max is still asleep and on my left arm. I don’t want to wake her even though I should since we both have class today. I’m tempted to wake her up with kisses all over her face. 

Wait. Do what with kisses? Dear Lord, I need to start praying more if I keep having these odd and sensual thoughts. Maybe I should do a quick prayer right now. I close my eyes. “Dear Lord Jesus, please forgive me” I whisper. “ I know that I have sinned plenty and hope that you forgive me for I am atoning. I am sorry that I had almost died by my own selfish desires. I was having a hard time at school and I wanted to run away. It was like a nightmare that I could not wake up from my Lord.” I feel some tears falling from my eyes. It’s hard to talk about it sometimes. Even to God. “Please forgive me.” I want to continue, but I hesitate. I look at Max to make sure she’s asleep. Her eyes are close and her face in a dreamy yet expressionless look. I swallow hard. “Dear Lord, please forgive me my.” I pause. “For my odd thoughts lately. I know you sent Max to save me and I am eternally grateful to have her. I think I am confusing gratitude with” I pause and looked at Max again. She’s still asleep. “With lust and unwanted desire.” I say quickly with my eyes closed. “Amen” I whisper. I sigh. That actually made me feel better despite the obvious embarrassment and the risk of Max hearing. Admitting your sins is the first way of getting rid of them, right?

Max woke up when I start tickling her and whisper in her ear that it’s time to get ready for class. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. She turns over and tells me to give her 5 more minutes. I tickle her again and tell her that she still has to shower and get dressed. “Okay. You’re right Kate” she groans. She is so cute. In a platonic way of course. I went ahead to take a shower in the bathroom while she goes back to her room to get ready. Thankfully it was still pretty early to avoid everyone. I go in the bathroom. Undress then go into the shower. Despite the lack of cleanliness it felt nice to shower back at Blackwell. It’s been home for the past 3 years. My parents sent me here since it was the best school in Arcadia. I love my family a lot, but I was happy to get away from them. Even back then my mom was always strict and always seemed to want to go for a fight. I never fought her, but sometimes her opinions irritate me. Last Christmas my sisters and I were watching CNN and a few states allowed gay marriage. Personally, I don’t mind gay marriage. As long as it’s not being forced in our churches then I have nothing against it. My mother had very different opinions. 

“Homosexuals should be sent to jail or killed” my mother said while walking around the living room. I recall my sisters and I were on the couch when the news anchor talked about gay marriage. I stayed silent. I didn’t agree, but I wouldn’t say anything. Lynn actually stood up and said “Mom! That’s awful! Mark 12:31. We must respect everyone even if we disagree.” My mother looked at Lynn and walked towards her. “Lynn. Honey. It’s disgusting. Those people aren’t people. They are perverts and a disgrace in God’s eyes. Why are you even defending them? Are you a pervert?” she says then grabs Lynn’s arm. Lynn pulls away. “No mom. I’m just defending them because you’re just being so hateful. I mean what if I was that way? Or Kate? Or Allison?” Lynn’s face shows a softer expression. “You could be hurting one of us and not even know it mom. I think you should just drop it. It’s not like you can change legislation anyway. The whole thing is moot.” Lynn says as she sits back down. My mom is still angry, but leaves it. Lynn is right. It’s not like she can change it with words. Mom goes back to the kitchen to continue cooking the Christmas dinner. I also recall that we had honey ham that year. 

I finish taking a shower and wrap my towel around me. The door opens. I really hope it’s not Victoria. I don’t want to see her right now. I look and it’s Alyssa. “Hey Kate.” She says. She hesitates. “How are you? I didn’t know you were back already. “ A pause. “I’m glad you’re back and you look good. I mean not like good cause you’re naked and that would be weird. But you look like you’re better. Yeah.” I forget how awkward she can be sometimes. I smile and tell her thanks and that I’ll see her in class soon. She nods and I leave the bathroom to finish getting ready for class.

_For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to give you prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart._ Jeremiah 29:11-13


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The first four classes went well. Everyone was so kind to me. Stella gave me a bear that held a red heart with “Welcome Back” stitched on it. Victoria wasn’t in history class today. Everyone was whispering that maybe she skipped school since I’m back. They said she feels bad about what had happened. I’m not entirely sure if I would believe them, but it is comforting to know that she might actually be able to feel guilt. 

Next class was photography. I sit down near the window and Max in the table adjacent to mine. I notice that Mr. Jefferson isn’t in the classroom yet. I send Max a text, “Hey. Where’s the teacher?’. She responds “It seems like he left after the incident. No one blames you, Kate. : )” I get another text from her, “how did you sleep? You seemed pretty upset last night. I’m not sure how useful I was, but I hope I helped at least a little. : (“ I smile. “Of course you did Max! You’re a wonderful friend and I’m happy you stayed with me last night.” I take out my books and supplies when I get another text from Max. “Kate. I heard your prayer this morning. I was still mostly asleep. I heard the last bit. Is it true?”

I could feel my cheeks getting warm. I hide my face in my hands in embarrassment. Everyone looks at me. I probably look ridiculous. I feel a hand on my shoulder. “Hey let just take a quick bathroom break” I hear Max say. I get up. Still hiding my face. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me. Today was going so well too. 

We walk out of the classroom. Everyone stares while Max holds me around her arm. I’m shaking and she’s trying to make me still. I can feel my head throbbing from a headache. I can feel my heart coming out of my chest. My breathes are short as if my lungs stopped working. I have a choking feeling in my throat. I am so overwhelmed. Everyone is staring. Everything is terrifying. The possibility of losing Max because of my perversions. Being isolated again. Why do I have to have these disgusting feelings? None of this can be real. We make it outside to the fountain. Max hugs me and I cry. “I’m sorry Kate.” She says quietly. Then suddenly it feels like everything has stopped.

 _“Can you fathom the mysteries of God?  
Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” _ Job 11:7

Next class was photography. I sit down near the window and Max in the table adjacent to mine. I notice that Mr. Jefferson isn’t in the classroom yet. I sent Max a text, “Hey. Where’s the teacher?”. She responds “It seems like he left after the incident. No one blames you, Kate. : )” I get another text from her, “how did you sleep? You seemed pretty upset last night. I’m not sure how useful I was, but I hope I helped at least a little. : (“ I smile. “Of course you did Max! You’re a wonderful friend and I’m happy you stayed with me last night.” I take out my books and supplies when I get another text from Max. “Thanks Kate. : )” Class starts.

The new teacher is a young woman in her late 20s or early 30s at least. She is beautiful. Platonically, of course. Red hair, blue eyes, and freckles. Gorgeous. Those eyes and freckles remind me of Max. I love how her pinks lips when she smiles. Her butt is nicely shaped in that skirt. It’s quite a nice view. KATE! No. We have to stop with these thoughts, remember? I sigh. I need to pray again tonight. Surely, this will pass and I’ll just be normal Kate again. Is it possible to be normal Kate again after the incident? Of course. What happened at the Vortex Club was not my fault. I was taken advantage of. I shiver from remembering that time. It’s in the past now.

“Today we will start with panoramic photography. Due to the popularity of it right now I’m sure it will be of some interest to most of you” the teacher says. I look out the window. I always try to make it seem like I’m listening and taking notes, but really I just like to be near the window and stare into the nature outside. Granted I do take notes and listen, but not to the extent that people assume. I’m really not as studious as people think. I’m not a super student, but a lot of people think that I’m some sort of recluse that enjoys studying.

In all honesty I’m shy around people. I was raised with a close family and church. As much as I wanted to get away from that it doesn’t mean that I’m going to be able to socialize and feel natural in a new place so easily. I remember when I first came to Blackwell a lot of the students assumed I was some sort of Bible thumper. I didn’t even know what that was until I came here. As much as I enjoy applying the Bible to my everyday life it doesn’t mean that I would force that on anyone else. 

Class is over and we leave the room. I walk to the teacher to introduce myself. “Hi professor. My name is Kate. I was gone in the hospital for a short time. I am back at Blackwell now.” I say with a smile. She looks at me. Her facial expression is unsure. She lends out her right hand. “Nice to meet you Kate. I am Ms. Stevens.” She says as I shake her hand. There was an awkward pause. “Well Ms. Stevens it was a pleasure. I will see you in class tomorrow.” I say as I walk away. I feel her watching me leave. It makes me uncomfortable. She probably wasn’t told there was a student in the hospital. 

I walk back to the dorms. I see Mr. Madsen. He notices me as well and walks towards me. I’m hoping to not get harassed and walk a little faster. He catches up. “Kate!” he yells. I stop and turn around. “Kate. I’m glad you’re okay.” He says. I look at his eyes and he seems sincere about it. “T-Thanks.” I say nervously then turn around to leave. That was definitely odd, but I’m grateful he wasn’t hostile.  
I continue to walk to the dorms. Today was actually not so bad. I’m happy I had a such a good first day with no issues. 

_I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken_ Psalm 16:8


	4. Chapter 4

School has been really good all this week. It’s been 5 days of classes and so far it’s been smooth. Mr. Madsen doesn’t bother me anymore. We haven’t talked since the first day when he said he was glad I was okay. Victoria did come back to classes the day after I came back. She’s still herself, but hasn’t said anything to me. Sometimes I catch her looking at me with a worried look on her face, but when I turn to look back she always looks away. I still avoid her. It’s probably best this way. As for Nathan. I actually haven’t paid attention to Nathan at all. Yes, he’s here and we still have classes together. But he’s definitely been avoiding me. More so than Victoria. She at least looks at me. Nathan, he hasn’t looked at me or talked to me. Maybe the Vortex Club is trying to be low key about what happened. I’m not sure, but I don’t want to have anything to do with the Vortex Club ever again. 

Max and I have been hanging out a little less since the first day. Which I think is best since I need to battle the situation by myself. I know Max there if I need her. Stella and Alyssa too. But unless I really need them I would like to overcome this on my own. I want to fight the panic attacks and I want to stand up for myself when need be. I also need to stay away from Max to avoid having those perverted thoughts about her. They still happen. Especially in photography class when I can see her from the corner of my eye. 

I could never tell Max about my feelings. No, not feelings. My sinful thoughts. I don’t want her to hate me or think that I’m some sort of pervert. On top of that I don’t want to be bullied again. I will admit there were whispers of Rachel Amber being bisexual, but no one bothered her about her sexuality. There were rumors of her sleeping with Mr. Jefferson while also having a ‘punk’ lover that was a woman. And yet despite that no one picked on her or bullied her about it. She was well respected even by Victoria. I wish I knew how to handle people like she did. 

I visited Dr. Johnson yesterday after class. I told him about how school has been going well. How no one has bullied me and I am getting less anxious around people. I feel like I can definitely move on from what had happened and look forward to the future. 

Since it’s Saturday Max and I decide to finally get some tea. There’s a café nearby that we went to last time. I absolutely adored their variety of exotic teas, but I feel like drinking green tea. There’s still some free time before we meet and now I’m trying to decide what to wear. While scrounging through the clothing in my closet I notice a beautiful yellow sun dress. It has spaghetti straps and a large bow in the middle around the waist line. I smile. I think Max would like it. Not that I’m trying to impress her, of course. I just want to look nice. 

I put on the sun dress and some make up. I look through my lip stick collection. I really love putting on bright red lipstick. It makes my lips pop. I get my purse ready with all the necessities. I’m nervous. This is the first public outing since I’ve been back at Blackwell. Every time I hung out with someone it was always on campus. Mostly in the dorms. 

Along with my current anxiety I’m even more so around Max. In class it’s easier to act normal since I have something else to focus on. The teacher, the text books, notes, or a window. I hope tea time goes well. I just need to focus on something else like the tea. Yeah, the tea. This way I don’t have to look at her face. I giggle remembering that in class yesterday she seemed to be dosing off. It was adorable. I’m ready to go. I get a text from Max, “Are you ready? Just come to my room when you are : )”. 

I walk towards my bed and do a short prayer. I kneel down with my elbows resting on my bed and hands together. “Dear Lord, thank you for letting me have this week go smoothly. Thank you for letting everything go so well that I did’t have any panic attacks or suicidal thoughts. I also would like to thank everyone for their kindness. I pray that they remain happy and well. I pray that I find in my heart to forgive Victoria and Nathan. I pray that they both can also be happy and find peace.” I pause. “I pray that I continue to have less perverted thoughts about Max. I pray that she doesn’t find out about it and that we can be normal friends.” Just normal friends. “Amen.” 

Why am I so terrified of the idea of being attractive girls? Well, first off it’s a sin. Sure, I know that stealing, murder, divorce, among a lot of other things are sins. But in order to remain moral I have to follow the Bible and repent for any sins that I do. I know that with modern times some sins like divorce has been accepted. But it’s so different from being gay. Homosexuality, that’s forever. I guess you can technically be no longer gay, but until then it’s like an elongated sin. The best way I can try to describe how it’s seen in the church is that it’s like constantly doing something sinful. For example, stealing is a sin. But if you keep stealing then you cannot be forgiven until you stop and atone for your ways. If a person is gay and still acts gay then you’re still sinning and cannot atone until you become heterosexual. That’s kind of how it works. Plus no one wants to go to Hell. Especially if the sin isn't worth it.

Max may also not be attracted to girls. Religion aside, she probably likes guys. Warren adores her. I know she doesn’t have feelings for him back, but there could be another guy out there she likes. She may think it’s weird that I like her. Maybe not want to be friends anymore. Maybe she would feel violated. We have changed clothes in the bathroom together before. She would probably think I’m gross. I don’t want to lose one of my closest friends over something dumb. I don’t want to lose the one person that saved my life. I am so grateful for her and to lose her would be devastating. She’s been my rock. I rather suffer a little inside and alone over losing that support. I know God will get me through it. It’s temporary anyway. Like all sins it will go away and I can atone for it. I would have a panic attack if she found out about my fillings. I stand up to and grab my purse. I open the door and head across the hall to Max’s room. 

_Be strong and courageous. Don’t fear or tremble before them, because the Lord, your God, will be the one who keeps on walking with you—he won’t leave you or abandon you._ Deuteronomy 31:6 


	5. Chapter 5

_For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12_

We arrive at the café. I love it for the variety of teas, but Max loved the café’s name, Brewed Awakening. I know, It’s cheesy and an awful pun. I order a green tea with soy and honey. Max gets a vanilla chai tea. We decide sit down in a red booth near a wide open window while we wait for our orders. 

I look out the window. I love watching cars drive by and people walking on the sidewalks. I see birds hoping around the parking lot. You can see some back yards across the street. One yard has a dog barking and following people walking by. It’s a clear day warm from the sun. It’s amazing how naturally beautiful the world is sometimes. It’s hard to believe that God can create something so amazing. 

“Kate?” Max asks. I stop looking at the window and looking at her. Kind of. I’m focusing on the people standing in line behind her. “How has your week been? You haven’t said much since that first day. So I just wanted to make sure.” she says. I close my eyes and smile. Then I open my eyes and say “Don’t worry Max. I know you’ll be there. I promise I’m doing okay. Actually, I’m doing really well. Everyone has been so supportive and no one has been bothering me. Even Mr. Madsen said he was glad I was okay.” Our drinks came. 

I don’t know why, but when our eyes met she looked sad and it made my heart drop. 

“Kate.” Max says “It looks like you’ve been doing great, but you haven’t had any suicidal thoughts lately. Have you?” 

I sigh and recall that rainy day. I was on the roof getting ready to jump. I wanted everything to end, because nothing was getting better. No matter how much I told everyone that I was drugged and wasn’t myself; no one believed me. Except Max. She saved me from Mr. Madsen, she was always on my side, getting proof, and in the end saving my life. I smile at her. “I’ve actually been doing really well. I talk to a doctor, praying more, and I have you.” I said. 

I look back out in the window. Despite the evil in the world it’s still a beautiful place. It’s a place that’s worth at least trying to live through. There are awful people, but there are beautiful people as well. Those who, I believe, are sent by God to help those in need. Max was my beautiful person. My own guardian angel who is still around to help me while I recover. This is one of many reasons why I love her. She’s kind, understanding, and just amazing. 

I look back at Max and she seems to be looking at her cup. Seemingly unsure. She moves her shoulders a little. Is she nervous? I want to focus a little on her now. I’m strong enough for that and she deserves it. 

“How are you doing Max?” I ask. She looks away and hesitates. I wonder if there is something going on. Now I’m worried. 

She looks back at me and says, “Kate. I know you like me and it’s totally okay. I like you too. But I know that you’re struggling with it and your religion and that’s okay. Plus there was what had happened on the rood not long ago. We can figure it or something. Together. Maybe. Damn. I’m so bad at this.” 

I look at her confused. How does she know this? My mouth is open. I feel shaky. My heart is pounding and all I could manage to say was “W-Wha….” before it felt like the time had stopped to recover from that moment. 

_So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal._ 2 Corinthians 4:18 

“How are you doing Max?” I ask. She looks away and hesitates. I wonder if there is something going on. Now I’m worried. 

“Kate!” she says sternly. “I like you! A lot. Since I came to Blackwell and even more so as we got closer.” “Max. What are you saying?” I ask. I am so confused. My face is warm. I feel nervous. Maybe a little nauseous. Where is this conversation going? 

Max crosses her arms. “Look, you won’t remember any of this and I might as well get it off my chest.” Max says. My mouth is open. What is she talking about? I won’t remember? My eyes widen. What is she planning to do to me? 

“Kate. I like you a lot. And I care a lot about you I love learning everything about you. I love that you play the violin. I love how passionate you are about religion and how much you love your family. You’re a great mom to Samuel. I love how kind you are to everyone. I admire that you are working so hard to get better after being tangled in that mess at Blackwell with the Vortex Club. You’re like a miracle.” Max goes on. 

I don’t really pay attention to what Max is saying anymore. I just remember Victoria, Nathan, the Vortex Club, the video, everyone slut shaming me, and the overwhelming fear of not being able to remember the night with the Vortex Club that caused all the problems. Why wouldn’t I remember anything? What’s Max planning to do to me? I start crying. Max looks at me “Kate?”. 

“What do you mean I won’t remember, Max?” I yell at her. “How could you make me forget what’s going on right now? Is.” I said then grabbed my cup. “Is my latte drugged or something? What’s going on Max? Why?” I cry more. I don’t understand. I don’t want to understand why she would consider drugging me like Nathan might have done at the Vortex Club. This has to be some sort of nightmare. My chest feels heavy. My emotions are mixed with fear. Wait. Max just confessed to me. 

I look at her with tears still falling out. I can’t tell if they are of fear or if they are the result of instant relief from the burden of my feelings for Max. I don’t understand why I wouldn’t remember this. I wouldn’t mind Max confessing. Actually it might help in some way. I don’t know. I don’t understand. I wish we could redo this. Max reaches out her hand. 

_We all stumble in many ways._ James 3:2 

“How are you doing Max?” I ask. She looks away and hesitates. I wonder if there is something going on. Now I’m worried. 

She buries her face in her hands. I hear her mumble something, but I don’t understand what she’s saying. Max takes her hands off her face then takes a deep breath. Her face is red and she seems frustrated. 

“Kate.” She says with a serious face. She takes a deep breath. She looks like she’s focusing. She breaths out. “Kate” she says while looking at me. She pauses. Then she says with all seriousness, “I want your taco.”

I don’t know what’s going on, but we aren’t at a Mexican restaurant. 

Max smirks then reaches out her hand. 

_Love can cover over a multitude of sins._ 1 Peter 4:8 

“How are you doing Max?” I ask. She looks away and hesitates. I wonder if there is something going on. Now I’m worried. Max smiles as if to remember something funny. “Kate. When the time is right I want to talk to you about something. I don’t think right now is a good time, but soon. I promise.” She says. I’m not quite sure what’s going on, but I look forward to it. Maybe Max will confide in my about a boy crush and hopefully it will be the last bit of my ‘feelings’ for her. Once I know she isn’t interested. I can move on faster and continue to live the way God intended me to live. 

“Alright.” I say then I sip my tea. “How do you like your tea?” 


	6. Final Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this story and had so much more planned for it. But with episode 3 coming out I figured I should wrap it up.  
> I'm not sure if I will write another story, but I would like to thank everyone for their support.

_God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah._ Psalm 46:1-3 

This month has been insane. Max and her friend decided to continue investigating the Vortex Club, Mr. Jefferson’s escape from Arcadia, Rachel’s disappearance and the hurricane. Unfortunately I don’t know too many details. Of what I do know Rachel was found and alive. The Vortex Club was disbanded. Everyone in Arcadia survived the hurricane. Max’s friend, Chloe, died while trying to save Max. From who or what I am not sure. I did not want to pry and it seems like Max is trying to protect me from what she knows.

Right now most of the students at Blackwell are at a shelter. Most residents are in similar shelters in the area. Some have left Arcadia to live with family while the town rebuilds itself. Sitting next to me is Alyssa and Warren. We’re all wondering where Max is. “Do you think she’s okay?” Warrens asks. I look around the room hoping to maybe see her in this crowd of people. “I’m sure she is.” I reply. “She’s pretty tough. She has survived Nathan’s wrath a few times and even managed to befriend Victoria. That’s got to take some skill.” Victoria isn’t in the shelters as she has left Arcadia with her family. The Prescott family and Nathan have also left Arcadia. Courtney and Dana are here. Holding hands. I sigh. I wish I could hole Max’s hand right now. 

_The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you._ Psalm 9:9-10

After the turn of events I realized that even if I am gay or bisexual or just Max-sexual then I’ll just accept myself. I know that Bible has laws and established what sin in, but after all of this. Maybe, just maybe this is some sort of sign that we need to be renewed just like Arcadia after the hurricane. Just as the world is constantly changing, so are we. As for God, I’m sure that he has a lot of other things to worry about. I don’t think something like my attractions are that big of a deal. As long as no one is harmed including myself then I don’t see what’s the big deal anymore. Everyone at church made it such a big deal, but I think it’s because we’ve ran out of sins to hate on without appearing stupid. Hating on homosexuals is pretty stupid and I wouldn’t be surprised if this hurricane was a punishment of our ignorance and inability to adapt to a changing world. 

“I’m going to take a walk outside.” I told Warren and Alyssa. I need some fresh air. I walk outside. It’s sunny out. There is wreckage everywhere. I turn to look towards a hill and some trees and I see a doe. Funny. Out of all of this chaos it’s odd that an animal would still be around. Oddly, it reminds me of Max. The doe runs off and I walk around some more. 

I climb up a hill for a better view of Arcadia Bay. Homes and establishments are destroyed. I’m surprised that there were no fatalities. Although Max did warn us all about it. No one believed her at first. Max and her friend broke into the Arcadia news station and put on a hurricane warning and sirens. Not long after that a storm did appear, but most of us were already leaving Arcadia or in a shelter. It seems like Max is Arcadia’s guardian angel now. 

I look up at the clouds. I breathe in the air. It’s peaceful. 

_Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest._ Matthew 11:28

All of the students of Blackwell are now back into the dorms. Thankfully after some cleaning up the buildings were good enough for us to stay in again. Parts of our school is destroyed, but we have portable classrooms set up on campus. To an extent it seems like everything is back to normal. Except for Max. She hasn’t been around much lately. 

Warren actually felt the need to confess to her. The storm really scared him and he wanted to let her know just in case something were to happen to him. She did reject him of course. He surprisingly took it well. I think they both knew that it was a one sided venture. 

I decide to text Max. “ What r u up to?”. I get a reply back almost immediately. “ At Chloe’s grave. Sorry I haven’t been around. It’s been… hard.” I want to text her asking if she wants me to see her. I miss her. God, this is selfish of me. I send her “ are you okay? I can come by if you want. Someone needs to be your angel for once. Jk”. Wow. That was dumb. Not subtle either. I get a response “Sure. I’m at the Arcadia Bay cemetery. Near the lighthouse.”. I suppressed my excitement. I know it’s a hard time for Max and this is my chance to help her as she helped me. “Okay. On my way.” 

_The person who endures to the end will be saved._ Matthew 24:13

I arrive at the cemetery. It looks untouched unlike the rest of Arcadia. Like time as stopped it before the hurricane arrived. 

I walk around and I see Max. She’s sitting on the grass staring at Chloe’s grave. She’s sitting with her arms over her knees squeezing them together. I walk towards her and take a seat. Her eyes look distant and her expression numb. She’s in so much pain right now. 

I stare at the grave with her. Her grave has on it

_Chloe Price_

_May 5, 1994 – November 9 2013_

_A true everyday hero_

There are no flowers or anything else. Just Max sitting here for however long she’s been here.  
It’s quiet. I decide to hopefully break the silence.  


“From how you spoke about her… she sounded like a good friend. You guys were always together for the past month. Both of you managed to save Arcadia. You’re both heroes.” I say.  


Max hides her face in her arms. She then lifts her head up to looks at me. “She was definitely a hero, but her death was inevitable. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t save everyone in Arcadia even though I really wanted to save everyone and her.” she says.  


We stay quiet after that. I’m not sure what else to say. I didn’t know Chloe that well. Max’s face is flushed from what I assume is a lot of crying over Chloe.  


I reach out my arms and hug her. I really want to help her. I hold her for some time since she doesn’t move or react at all. Eventually she opens her arms and hugs back.  


“Do you want to lay your head on my lap?” I ask. She’s probably tired. She nods. I stretch out my legs and invite her in. She lays her head on my lap. I stroke her hair. It’s a little tangled. I try to gentle untangle what I can with my fingers.  


She starts to shake. And I feel small drops on my legs. She’s crying. I pick her head up and hold her. It’s awful seeing the person you love in pain. Especially if you can’t do much about it.  
After some time we both agree to head back to Blackwell together. The walk back home was quiet.  


She asks if she can come with me to my room and I let her in. It’s a bit of a pigsty in there. We both just sit on the bed. I ask her if it’s okay for me to hold her. She nods. We lay in bed. Max is in my arms. She cries and I comfort her. “I’m here for you. You’re not alone. If you need anything you can come to me anytime.” I'd say. She just nods in response with her head still buried on my chest. If the circumstances were different I’d enjoy this a lot more.  


Eventually she falls asleep and I also fall asleep not long after her.

_If I speak in the languages of humans and angels but have no love, I have become a reverberating gong or a clashing cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can understand all secrets and every form of knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains but have no love, I am nothing. Even if I give away everything that I have and sacrifice myself, but have no love, I gain nothing._

_Love is always patient;_  
_love is always kind;_  
_love is never envious_  
_or arrogant with pride._  
_Nor is she conceited,_  
_and she is never rude;_  
_she never thinks just of herself_  
_or ever gets annoyed._  
_She never is resentful;_  
_is never glad with sin;_  
_she’s always glad to side with truth,_  
_and pleased that truth will win._  
_She bears up under everything;_  
_believes the best in all;_  
_there is no limit to her hope,_  
_and never will she fall._  


_Love never fails. Now if there are prophecies, they will be done away with. If there are languages, they will cease. If there is knowledge, it will be done away with. For what we know is incomplete and what we prophesy is incomplete. But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will be done away with._  


_When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways. Now we see only an indistinct image in a mirror, but then we will be face to face. Now what I know is incomplete, but then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known._  


_Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love._  


_But the greatest of these is love_  


1 Corinthians 13

The next day Max and I decided to go to the woods to relax. We found a nice patch of grass and sit on it. Behind appears some visitors. Two does. Max takes out her polaroid and takes a picture before they ran off. It was an amazing shot.  


“Kate.” Max says. “I think we should talk.” I look at her. I know she knows I like her, but I’ve accepted it. Whatever she says I will be able to survive it. I don’t think she will disown me as a friend, but if she wants distance I’ll respect it.  


“I agree. Max.” I hesitate. “I love you, Max. At first it was a crush or maybe infatuation. But over time as I see how amazing you were I just couldn’t help but to love you. I know that might be weird or strange, but I hope it doesn’t ruin our friendship.”  


I look at her and smile. I’m trying to hide my fears.  


She smiles back and grabs my hand. “I love you too, Kate. I’ve been wanting to say it for a while, but it was always not a good time. You had suffered so much from the Vortex Club. You needed that time to heal and I just know it was a bad idea to tell you until now.” Max kisses me and I kiss her back.  


For the first time in God knows how long I cry, but with happiness. I can’t help but to smile and cry. I am happy and relieved. I feel complete. Max is the first person I’ve ever loved and she feels the same way. She’s always been my guardian angel. Now it’s finally time to be hers.


End file.
